My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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