hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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