And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
