He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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