I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
