girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
There are leaves in my underwear?
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