I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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