And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
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