He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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