shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
