Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
