Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
