Plan B is the new Plan A
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
