I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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