yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
