Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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