just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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