ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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