At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
