My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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