Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
The power of my boobs compel you
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
