we have officially lost it.
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Randomize
