I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
My butt remains clenched, sir.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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