no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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