my vag is so smooth its legendary
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Randomize
