I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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