What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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