LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
