how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
