Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
