Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
