i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
