You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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