): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
