I will die if light touches me.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
