I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
