I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize