CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
