We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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