marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
