I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
