i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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