No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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