Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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