"it" just moved
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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