Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
