You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
