i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
