I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Randomize
