Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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