It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize