hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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