We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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