Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
