OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
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