Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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