Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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