Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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