i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
So much Jack, so little girl.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Randomize
