no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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