She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize