You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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