just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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