Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Randomize
