You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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