I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
