just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
