I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
