I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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