Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize