he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
