I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Randomize
