don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
