dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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