he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Randomize
