i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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