new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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