everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
